


When I Wake Up, I'm Afraid

by toxic_shots



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Bokuaka - Freeform, Cussing, Cute, Friendship, Hanamaki's love advice, Heartbreak, Iwaizumi dates another person, Iwaizumi is Oikawa's, Iwaizumi is confused, Kuroo - Freeform, M/M, Mamaki, Melancholy, Oikawa is confused, Oikawa loves Iwa-chan, Sad, Sadness, Tooru - Freeform, hajime - Freeform, hinted bokukuroo, iwaoi - Freeform, matsuhana - Freeform, tobio-chan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-06-05 10:01:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6700414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toxic_shots/pseuds/toxic_shots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone who knew the two would say they were meant for each other. So why were they not together yet, was a mystery.<br/>Or<br/>In which Iwaizumi gets a girlfriend and Oikawa is confused and heartbroken</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Little White Lie

**Author's Note:**

> Don't kill me ^-^ Hope you guys enjoy it! It starts in Oikawa's p.o.v. Please give feedback and constructive criticism! Thank you :D

When Oikawa wakes up every morning, he feels afraid. He doesn’t know why. He is unsure, and it annoys the hell out of him. He let out a loud groan as for the fifth night in the row, he has been having the same dream over and over.

He was confused as to why the dream had caused so much discomfort in his part. 

So much that he couldn’t focus on even simply measly tasks. He couldn’t even read a book without feeling as if he wanted to stab himself whenever he thought of it. He ran his fingers through his hair in annoyance. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. He saw the dark circles engraving his face. His cheekbones that were usually defined and bright, looked hollow and sullen. He looked tired.

‘Fuck, how pathetic am I? If Iwa-Chan really were to get a girlfriend, I’d be okay with it, right?’

Oikawa thought to himself before the sound of his phone vibrating in his pocket stopped him from thinking any further. He checked the message hesitantly.

**From : Iwa-Chan**  
**Where are you, shittykawa! It’s freezing out here, I’ve been waiting for fifteen minutes!**

**We’re still meeting up for coffee, right?**

At the texts he received, he smiled genuinely. The feeling of warmth spreading across his heart. He had totally forgotten about his plans to meet up with Iwa-chan for coffee. He’s been distancing himself from everyone more and more ever since he has been having these dreams. 

**To : Iwa-Chan**  
**So needy Iwa-Chan! Yea! We’re still meeting up :D ! I was just too infatuated by the reflection in my mirror I totally forgot time existed ^-^ ! I’ll be there in 5!**

**From : Iwa-Chan**  
**Hurry up, trashykawa!**

He smiled once again at the response, seemingly satisfied before he headed out. His phone vibrated once more.

**From : Iwa-Chan**  
**Don’t forget to bring your coat, shittykawa, its fucking freezing out here.**

***  
Oikawa walked along the streets, he could hear his footsteps padding across the street. He paid no attention to the snow falling lightly onto the pavement. Instead, his mind filled with melancholy thoughts of Iwaizumi while he made his way to their favourite coffee shop.

He spotted his best friend occupying a table next to the window. He smiled at how disconnected the table looked compared to the atmosphere of the lively coffee shop. He felt relieved because all he wanted to enjoy was some peace with Iwaizumi.

“Yahoo, Iwa-Chan!” Oikawa said, plastering a smile on his face. One he was used to doing. He could see Iwaizumi’s face soften. Oikawa didn’t fail to nice the slight pink hue on Iwaizumi’s cheeks that were probably from the cold of the outdoors.

“What the fuck, Shittykawa! I’ve been waiting for half an hour!” Iwaizumi said, annoyance slightly apparent on his face but Oikawa could sense the sound of worry and slight relief in his best friend’s voice.

“Uwahhh I’m sorry, Iwa-Chan! I overslept!” He said, gritting his teeth lightly. A little white lie wouldn’t hurt anyone.

“Whatever. I ordered your favourite latte already.” Iwaizumi said, his head hinting to the drink that was on the table. Oikawa gave him a thoughtful smile. After a while, they started talking. 

Just like old times.

Oikawa sighed, he really enjoyed spending time with Iwaizumi. He almost forgot about the dream of Iwaizumi dating another girl. Almost.

“Why have you been distancing yourself from me lately, Oikawa?” Iwaizumi said, his voice careful, soft. Comforting.

“It’s nothing, Iwa-chan I’ve just been very busy with assignments. Hey! At least we still hang out. What? Iwa-chan misses me this much?” Oikawa answered cheekily, winking at Iwaizumi.

He could see Iwaizumi’s cheeks go red before he muttered a light  
“Yeah, I missed you a lot, Oikawa.”

Oikawa felt his breath hitch. His eyes started welling up with tears but he quickly suppressed them and gave him a genuine smile.

It was nice.

Spending time with Iwaizumi, knowing Iwaizumi didn’t mind his presence.

“Aww Iwa-chan actually loves me a lot, doesn’t he,” Oikawa answered, shooting him his signature peace sign. 

The atmosphere quickly died down when Oikawa saw a girl approaching their table. She was cute. She had long wavy brown hair, sharp brown eyes, a cute button nose and perfect little rosebud lips. Scratch that. She was beautiful.

She could date any guy she wanted. Oikawa thought she wanted to talk to him, as he put on his signature charming smile. She reached their table. She smiled at Oikawa before turning her back, facing Iwaizumi. 

She gave a pert smile at Iwaizumi.

“Iwaizumi-san, may I please talk to you, alone?” 

Iwaizumi looked at Oikawa, a confused look apparent on his face. Oikawa nodded slightly before stepping up and walking out of the dainty little coffee shop.  
When he finally got out, he bit his bottom lip, gathering up all the will left he had to stop himself from crying.

‘Get a grip, fuck! You aren’t in love with Iwa-chan so stop being such a depressed little bitch, Oikawa!’

He breathed out, he felt troubled. What did she want with Iwa-chan. Maybe she just wanted to talk about homework?  
He knew what she wanted. He just didn’t want to admit it.

He then heard footsteps approaching him so he turned. He saw Iwaizumi walking towards him, flustered. 

“Oikawa, let’s go to my place. Then we’ll talk.”

His lips quivered but he nodded.  
***  
Once they reached Iwaizumi’s apartment, Oikawa got more and more nervous. The walk here was quiet, stiff. Unlike their usual banter or walk homes. They’ve changed.

Oikawa entered the empty apartment, wondering when was the last time he stepped into this room. A melancholic rush engulfed him before Iwaizumi cleared his throat and sat on the sofa.

Oikawa followed his suit, sitting down on the soft cushion with a sigh. His gaze averted from the sofa to Iwaizumi’s face that was now flushed.

“She asked me to be her boyfriend.” He managed to say. His eyes refusing to meet Oikawa’s.

Oikawa’s blood ran cold. His heart ached with hurt, he felt as if someone had just stabbed him there. It finally hit him.

He was in love with Iwaizumi Hajime.

“Do you like her, Iwa-chan?” He asked, voice turning cold but he tried to hide it with a smile.  
Iwaizumi then finally looked at Oikawa. He muttered a light “I don’t know..”

“You should date her. You’re lucky beautiful-chan wants to date a brute like you.”  
Damn. How much it hurt him to say that. It might be good for Iwaizumi. He probably wasn’t in love with Oikawa anyways.  
“Shut up, trashykawa!”

Oikawa breathed out in relief, Iwaizumi hasn’t changed around him yet. He didn’t think he would hurt anymore than he did when he heard

“Okay, I’ll do it”

Oikawa looked up, gaze meeting Iwaizumi’s. 

Iwa-chan please. Don’t date her.

“Good for you, Iwa-chan. I have to go. I’ll text you later..” Oikawa’s voice got caught in his lungs. If he stayed any longer, he knew he would burst out into tears.  
He ran out. He ran. Not looking back. He didn’t pay attention to Iwaizumi calling for his name. He ran out onto the cold streets. 

Once he got further away from Iwaizumi’s apartment, he shrunk onto the ground. He clutched his chest.

It hurts.

Tears flowed freely down his cheeks.  
It hurts.

It was the last sentence he heard roll of Iwaizumi’s tongue before he ran out that hurt him the most. 

“I wish you could be honest with me.”

**“Fuck!”** Oikawa yelled out before standing up and walking away.

He wanted Iwaizumi. So much.  
Tears fell onto his cheeks as he walked away. 

He didn’t want Iwaizumi. He needed Iwaizumi.


	2. I Can't Handle Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa mopes around. He remembers the old days. Hanamaki and Matsukawa give Oikawa advise. Or something like that along the lines.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I know I said it would be a 2/2 story but I have some other things planned. I am not sure how many chapters there will be so bookmark this so it wont disappear (hint,hint)  
> It's still in Oikawa's p.o.v! Enjoy!  
> Please comment and give constructive criticism or suggestions!  
> I hope you enjoy your read.

Oikawa Tooru was anything but oblivious. He observed everything, he thought about everything. Most probably if you saw Oikawa Tooru in person, you would be intimidated by his strong piercing gaze. Studying you.

It’s been a week since Iwaizumi had accepted Manami Aiko’s confession. As Oikawa repeated, she was beautiful. Oikawa would admit a lot of things in life; like how he was deeply in love with his best friend. He wouldn’t ever admit it openly but,

Manami Aiko was everything Oikawa had feared she would be.

She was intelligent, cunning, funny, kind. Basically the most amazing person you would ever meet.

Oikawa hated her. She annoyed him. Not because she was with Iwaizumi, well mostly not. But also because he felt uneasy around her. He couldn’t read her. He didn’t know what she was thinking. Which is why, he thought she was

Fake.

He felt his heart hurt for the eighteenth time this week as he saw Iwaizumi kiss her on her lips. Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s relationship never changed. He was still Oikawa’s childhood best friend.

‘You know you’re still my best friend, right?’

He could hear Iwaizumi’s echo in his mind, taunting him.

Best friends, huh? I guess that’s the best we can ever be

He wondered why he agreed to be the third wheel of what seemed to be a romantic date between Iwaizumi and Aiko. Iwaizumi was always a romantic. It’s natural for him to want the best date. He let out a loud sigh, hoping some of the attention focused on Aiko will be brought to him instead.

“Iwa-chan, if you keep kissing Nami-chan in the corner, we’ll miss our movie.” He said, purposely adding a bit of edge to his voice. Different from when he usually conversed with Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi let out a scoff, before whispering something Aiko’s ear and muttering a light “We’re coming, Shittykawa.”

Oikawa couldn’t help but feel a little bit hurt.

For a split second before he moved to catch up next to Iwaizumi, he could see the annoyance and hate in Aiko’s eyes.  
He ignored it and walked into the movie theatre, all heavy heart and shit.

***  
“Oikawa!”

“What do you want, Maki-chan! I’m trying to sleep,” Oikawa said, huffing lightly before burying his head in the pillows decorating his bed.

“To hell you are! What’s up with you lately?” Hanamaki asked, his voice inking with worry as he looked at Oikawa, hoping he would get an answer, yet bracing himself for the worst. When it came Oikawa, anything could be it. But Oikawa never skipped volleyball practise. Be it at Kita-iichi, Aoba Johsai or Japan’s Official Volleyball team at that.

Oikawa looked up, he looked tired.

“Tell Mamaki what’s wrong, Oikawa.” Hanamaki said, hoping it would comfort him. Hanamaki was never really good at consulting people or confronting his problems either. He would feel hypocritical if Oikawa were to tell him something of sorts.

“Did you just call yourself Mamaki?”Oikawa said, a grin apparent on his face, he looked like he was about to laugh and cry at the same time. Hanamaki let out a victory cry.  
“That’s besides the point, the point is, you’re my friend and I deserve to worry about you. Your problems won’t go away by simply moping about them, so tell me what wrong.”  
Hanamaki responded, glad his friend was at least somewhat, okay.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Maki!” Oikawa yelled, raising his voice slightly. He sighed heavily before hugging his knees to his chest. Lies. 

Why do I keep lying.?

“You’ve been upset ever since Iwaizumi started dating-“ Hanamaki’s sentence cut short when realisation finally hit him.

“Oh.”

Oikawa peered up to look at Hanamaki. 

“What?”

“What.”

Oikawa furrowed his eyebrows in confusion before Hanamaki started typing away busily on his phone. Oikawa opened his mouth as to say something but was silenced by Hanamaki’s quick answer.

“Why are you texting Mattsun now of all times?” Oikawa asked, wanting his friend to pay attention to him. Hoping Hanamaki could help him, care for him. Since Iwaizumi was so obviously shining his attention on bloody Aiko.

“He can help!” Hanamaki said, a smile ghosted on his lips as he red the text his lover sent him. Hanamaki reached out and ruffled Oikawa’s soft hair lightly before leaving the room momentarily. Oikawa felt his heart ache lightly at the action.

Iwa-chan used to do that.

He heard the door re-open and was met with Matsukawa smirking lightly at his boyfriend. Matsukawa’s gaze then returned to Oikawa. For some reason, Oikawa couldn’t meet his gaze. He felt uncomfortable.

“So,Oikawa. You miss Iwaizumi, don’t you?” Matsukawa cleared his throat before speaking.

Yes, I do.

Oikawa just shrugged before lying down on the fluffy bed. He looked up at the various alien posters on the wall. 

‘You really are a dork,’ Iwaizumi smiled before ruffling Oikawa’s hair. 

He blinked. He couldn’t keep doing this. He didn’t want to keep hurting. Seeing Aiko hang off Iwaizumi’s well-toned arm angered him. He didn’t want to keep lying. He knew he was in love with his best friend. He was in too deep to get out.

“Yeah.” 

Was the only word Oikawa could say before he bursted into tears. He let his ego down, for once. He was used to doing this in front on his two friends. They watched him silently.  
He sobbed as if there was no tomorrow. He cried as his heart broke into a million tiny pieces. He couldn’t take it. He hurt.

“It **hurts**.” 

He muttered lightly and that was enough to make both of his friends launch to him, hugging him, reassuring him that they were there for him.

Oikawa Tooru couldn’t handle change.

“I love Iwa-chan.”

He was sobbing freely now. He could feel the tears run down his cheek. He found peace.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa muttered light ‘We know’s . They’ve never seen Oikawa so broken. So out of place.

“You know, crying around won’t convince Iwaizumi that you love him..” Matsukawa started, Hanamaki eyed him before continuing.

“Our dear Iwaizumi has always been pretty oblivious when it comes to these kinds of things. Plus, I hate Aiko. She looked at us like we were literal trash when she saw me holding hands with Mattsun.”Hanamaki continued sincerely.

There was a murmer of replies.

“You’re much suited for Iwaizumi anyways. You always have been. All of us in Seijoh thought at least one of you would get your shit together and confess.” Matsukawa said with a smile.

“He’d hate me though. He’s in a relationship!” Oikawa hissed, no venom apparent in his voice.

“Hey, if Iwaizumi hates you just because you confessed, then forget about him.”

Oikawa didn’t need much convincing after that. He was never a shy guy.

So why was it that he felt nervous when he was standing at the door of Iwaizumi’s apartment. He mustered up all the courage he got before he knocked on the door a few times. He could hear shuffling on the inside. If he was not mistaken, he heard moans coming from the inside. He dismissed it as fast as it had appeared in his mind.

He probably hasn’t even woken up yet. It’s 8.00 in the morning anyways. He doesn’t have classes on a Sunday.  
He smiled. He liked how he knew Iwaizumi.

His thoughts were quickly denied when Iwaizumi appeared at the door, hair disheveled, lips pink as if he was just intensely making out with someone. He was shirtless and sprouting some great morning wood.

The worst part was, he could see Aiko walking around in her undergarments, sexually flaunting off her great body. It was clear what they were doing. She saw Oikawa standing at the door and smirked sexily.

He finally noticed that Iwaizumi had been calling his name.

“Oi! Shittykawa!” 

His voice hinted annoyance. Oikawa’s heart clenched. He felt as if he had just been stabbed.

He felt tears threatening to spill out. He did not want to cry. Not now of all times. Not when Aiko was watching.

So he ran.

He ran as fast as his legs could carry him. He swore he wouldn’t look back. 

He knew he shouldn’t be giving up so soon, but he was tired.

He didn’t want to try anymore.

He didn’t want to keep striving to catch someone who was in love with someone else.

He felt a sense of déjà vu run over him as he looked up at the sky.

He spilled the contents of his heart out. He was too late, wasn’t he.

His finger scanned over Hanamaki’s contact in his phone, but he felt it wasn’t the right time. After all, where else could you find peace if not solitude?

He drove home, packed his bags, he wanted to find solitude. He didn’t want to keep clinging on someone he couldn’t catch.

“I can’t handle change.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how was it? I'm sorry I always make Oikawa suffer.  
> The next chapter will be in Iwaizumi's p.o.v so stay tuned for that!  
> Please give kudos/comment/bookmark.  
> I have something good planned so I hope you will join this journey!  
> Tell me what you think, it won't be long till next chapter anyways.   
> See you soon!


	3. Don't leave me, Tooru

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi reminisces and thinks about his relationship with Aiko and Oikawa.  
> Which one does he treasure more?  
> Oikawa meets an old school enemy and become friends (basically a random ass conversation at a coffee shop)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uwahhhh!! I'm sorry it's been so long. I was busy with mid terms. I'll try posting more often!!! Please stick around! I'm sorry its kinda short!

The unspoken rule between them was simple.

Oikawa Tooru never left Iwaizumi Hajime, and Iwaizumi Hajime never left Oikawa Tooru.

This was the one thing that gave Iwaizumi comfort when he and Oikawa would have a silly little quarrel. The one thing that gave Iwaizumi strength to deal with people trying to get closer to Oikawa through him.

So when Oikawa Tooru left without saying goodbye, Iwaizumi, for the first time, was caught off guard and taken by surprise. He didn’t want to face the truth.

He didn’t want to live knowing the last contact he had with his best friend, mind you, was when he was in the middle of ‘something else’ with Aiko.

Oikawa was always there, no matter what. 

So when he heard from Hanamaki Takahiro, a friend of his also Oikawa’s former roommate, that Oikawa had moved back to Miyagi to join the national team there and study sports medicine, Iwaizumi Hajime was hurt.

Oikawa didn’t tell him anything. Though he did sense something off about Oikawa once he started dating Aiko, he couldn’t bother to ask.

He didn’t know why. He always put up with Oikawa’s weird antiques and unusual behaviour, but he never thought he’d go as far as to ignore Oikawa over something so trivial.  
He knew he was in love with Oikawa Tooru.

Oh, very much longer ago indeed, he was in love. Oikawa didn’t seem to return these feelings, or maybe Oikawa just never knew.

But he felt it was right to move on. Oikawa Tooru was straight.

He, otherwise, was identified as a bisexual.

So he tried to cover up his feelings for Oikawa.

It was simple. He would get a girlfriend. And girlfriend it was he did get.

So why was it that Oikawa looked so hurt when he mentioned it. He couldn’t shake the uneasiness of his chest. Aiko was gorgeous. Everything any straight guy would have wanted. So why did it feel so forced?

He was happy, right?  
***  
Iwaizumi Hajime looked up at the cold snowy sky. The frostiness of the air bit at his cheeks as Aiko tightened the grip on his arm. He looked down at their entangled hands before presuming to look back up at the sky.

It has been precisely a month since Oikawa had walked out of his life. His eyebrows furrowed in the discomfort arousing in his chest.

**“Hajime.”**

He heard Aiko say, coldly. His eyes glanced only slightly at her before Aiko hit his arm and stood in front of him, stopping him from moving further ahead. She looked at him with big water eyes and a fake pouty smile through a perfect set of her pearly whites.

They fought a lot nowadays.

Not that neither of them could help it, but they both were too cowardly to end the relationship so they put on a show.

Act like a lovely couple, with no problems blooming in their minds whatsoever. Fake a smile at one another or two, and maybe, if you’re lucky, kiss a few times.

Iwaizumi had gone sick of her usual whiney banter and so in times like these when they were isolated, alone, he kept quiet.

“We’re supposed to be spending time together.”

“We are, aren’t we?” Iwaizumi felt himself respond. He felt bad for being slightly mean to her but Oikawa never minded.

Or maybe he did. Maybe that’s why he left. Iwaizumi was still clueless on where he went as Hanamaki refused to tell Iwaizumi anything whatsoever.

He heard Aiko give a soft huff before muttering something barely audible. He felt it wasn’t important yet he still did feel guilty.

“Aiko, look, I’m really sorry, I’m having a bad day. Come on, let’s go get your favourite ice cream.” 

He could tell Aiko was contemplating whether she should just give in or play hard to get. She chose to give in before clinging on to Iwaizumi’s arm once more, a smile apparent on her face. She was clearly pleased.  
***  
“Tooru….” 

“What do you want, Tobio-chan,”

Oikawa answered with no venom apparent in his voice. He and Kageyama had only found it fit to settle their hardships and turn friends. 

“Are we still going to Bokuto-san’s house for the party?” Kageyama asked, interest lingering in his voice as he typed away busily on his phone.

“Tobio-chan, we came out for coffee, not for you to text shrimp-chan over the phone in my presence.”

Oikawa smiled lightly as he saw the blush creep onto Kageyama’s face.

“You know, you could always ask Chibi-chan to be your boyfriend. But I guess the closest things to balls you handle are volleyball. Nee~? Tobio-chan.”

Oikawa kept lingering until Kageyama turned into a stuttering mess of insults which caused a genuine laugh out of Oikawa after such a long time.

Oikawa’s smile faltered a bit at the memory of Iwaizumi.

“A-a-are w-we g-goinng o-or not?” Kageyama asked, still blushing.

“Yes, we’re going, kohai-san. Bokuto always hosts the best parties.”

Kageyama smiled genuinely before bugging Oikawa once more on volleyball tips.

“If I told you, Tobio-chan, then you’d just beat me again.” 

And their conversation prolonged into useless blabble and Oikawa giving Kageyama motivation to finally date Hinata.

Long after they knew it, Oikawa was laughing merrily again. It was as if he never had been hurt in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it? Next chapter coming very soon! STAY PUT! Please comment/kudos/ bookmark! Love y'all!


	4. Leave Me Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa and Iwaizumi reminisces and they get kinda emotional.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm sorry its super slow moving and short. I hope you enjoy it anyways!!

Oikawa Tooru woke up with a heavy heart yet with a heart full of hopes and dreams. It’s been quite a long time since he woke up feeling this way. He sighed contentedly, as his eyes searched around his apartment for silver linings.

It’s been a few months since he last saw Iwaizumi Hajime. He still doesn’t know if what he did was right, but he couldn’t help but feel a burden had been lifted off of his chest.

He met tons of new friends and fit right in Miyagi’s official volleyball team. His life was pretty well-thought for, after he made the big decision on leaving his ever-loved, Tokyo. He sat up in his bed, a smile present on his face as he relinquished all the memories and promises he had left. He still kept contact with Hanamaki and Matsukawa and more of his friends.

Though, he still felt slightly empty.

That can’t be helped now, can it?

He stepped hastily off his bed, walking around his well-kept for apartment. 

A new day for Oikawa Tooru, meant a whole new list of things to achieve.

Hope Iwa-Chan doesn’t miss me too much. After all, he’s got dear sweet Aiko looking after him.

His gaze spotting a cute, little battered picture of Iwaizumi and him when they were merely the age of 10. He smoothed the creases decorating the picture gently. A sense of foreboding filled him momentarily before he lightly kissed the picture. Sure, he was bitter, but he could only stay mad at Iwaizumi for so long.

I hope Iwa-Chan is as happy as I am now.

He snapped back to reality once he heard the doorbell ring, and the cheerful sound of his friends talking loudly, almost recklessly, outside of his apartment. He smiled once more, glancing at the picture once more, before keeping it safely in a drawer.

***

“Iwaizumi.” Aiko said.

He continued folding some laundry neatly before putting them in a nearby laundry basket.

“Iwaizumi.” Aiko said, once more, venom slightly apparent in her voice.

He didn’t pay any attention to it.

“ **Hajime**!” She said, finally, her voice harsh as she pulled his hair to make him look at her. He winced lightly at the rough contact.

“What the **fuck** do you want!?” he spat, matching up with her venom.

She looked at him disgustedly. 

“I’m going out.” She said, clearing her throat lightly, crossing her arms over her chest. Only at this statement only that Iwaizumi looked at her. She wore a skimpy black dress that barely covered her butt and looked as if her boobs would burst out any moment. He grimaced lightly.

“You mean, you’re going out to fuck some guys while I pretend I don’t notice? Sure babe! See you tomorrow morning. Oh, and try not to be covered in some other guy’s semen before you come over all drunk and shit. I’m not tolerating that anymore.” Iwaizumi said, he smirked lightly as she looked at him angrily, still quite flustered.

“I’m just going ou-“

“Mhmm, sure. Before you decide to lie to me any further, I suggest you get the fuck out of my apartment. It’s laundry day.” He said once more.

She looked at him, quite tearily. But he knew better than to be sympathetic.

Who would be? If you found your girlfriend basically cheating on you.

He returned to his laundry, determined to not look at her. It’ll end badly that way. Everything he never wanted in a relationship had come true.

He then heard the light click and clack of her high heels as she walked out, shutting the door with such force, the picture frame hanging fell to the ground miserably.

“ **Tch**!” Iwaizumi clicked his tongue before proceeding to clean up the mess. His heart nearly broke at the picture the photo frame hid.

It was a picture of him and Oikawa.

He smiled bitterly as tears flowed down his cheeks easily. He sank down onto the floor and sobbed his heart out.

He missed Oikawa.

“Come back..”

He whispered.

He couldn’t think.

He lightly kissed the photo, as if the real Tooru was there. It was tender, something full of love. He secretly hoped somewhere, Oikawa was happy, and was thinking of him too.

Don’t leave me broken like this, Tooru.

He whispered inaudibly once more before clutching the photo to his heart, as he fell into uncomforting sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it? Please give constructive criticism and feedback! Please give kudos/comment/bookmark! See y'all in the next update!  
> Lots of love, Toxic


	5. I Don't Want To See You Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa goes to a party. So does Iwaizumi as well as Aiko.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Hope you didn't wait too long. Enjoy!

He woke up from his sleep with an aching neck and an aching heart. He clutched the spot just over his heart delicately as if he was protecting it from being pierced further. He stood up, looking up, he felt as if the situation was funny. He would never have thought he would suffer as much as this. He felt sadistic, but he couldn’t help it anymore. He looked outside momentarily before shaking his head and walking away.

Of course Aiko wouldn’t be home.

He felt sweaty and sore from the uncomfortable sleeping position he had fallen into a few hours ago. He didn’t care for the time nor was he expecting anyone to turn up so he left to take a long needed shower. He passed the room where he was folding laundry and frowned at the thought since he still hasn’t finished. He gave an irritated grunt before shrugging and walking off towards the bathroom.

He looked in the reflection and saw that his eyes were red and puffy.

Been a while since I last cried anyways.

He stepped into the shower and felt the water run down his skin. He felt his tense shoulders relax and let his thoughts take him.

After the shower, he wrapped a fluffy towel around the lower part of his body whilst walking out of the bathroom. Finally, he checked his phone and found about a hundred missed calls from two of his oldest friends, no not Oikawa, but Kuroo and Bokuto

**From : Kuroo**   
**Iwaizumi!!!! Are you coming to the party or not! If you are, call me ASAP!!!**

**From : Bokuto**   
**GeT YouR ASS HERE NOW!**

He smiled at this. He scrolled lazily through all the texts, debating whether he should go or not. Kuroo did tell him about a party Bokuto was hosting and he had forgotten all about it until now. He kept scrolling down until his blood ran cold when he saw Oikawa’s text in his phone.

**From : Space Freak**   
**I’m sorry**

He felt tears well up in his eyes before he quickly blocked them away to read a text from Aiko.

**From : Aiko**   
**Baby I’m coming home late. Don’t wait up :p**

He felt his vein lightly twitch as he tried to ignore the anger that was welling up inside. 

Fuck this of course I’m going.

He finally made a decision before grabbing his car keys to Bokuto’s house. He had forgotten to notify Kuroo that he would be coming. 

***  
Oikawa stood lonely by the punch table. His gaze lingering maybe once or twice on some familiar faces he spotted but he felt he shouldn‘t have to make an effort to go talk to them. He watched as Kageyama and Hinata were engaged in a deep conversation in something he couldn’t bother to try even listening in. He was happy for his kohais but he felt bad. He went all the way to Tokyo just to go to Bokuto’s party. Also because Bokuto wanted to finally bring him to places in Tokyo.

Ever since he sent that text to Iwaizumi, he had been feeling rather jumpy. He felt as if Iwaizumi would just pop up anywhere. He sighed aloud before proceeding to the balcony. He ever really enjoyed solitude but he preferred it much more than company nowadays. He herd cries of his name, inviting him to join them and get wasted but he simply waved them off.

He stepped out, resting his elbows lightly before breathing in the cold night air that bit as his cheeks. He looked up at the stars in the sky and how they deeply reminded him of how he would go stargazing with Iwaizumi when they were little. He shook his head before immersing himself in memories of them both. His long lashes shut before he buried his hands into his face, he felt too numb to actually cry.

He looked up and wondered what Iwaizumi would be doing right now.

***

Iwaizumi entered the big mansion and was greeted with the loud sound of music blaring. His eyebrows furrowed. He never enjoyed parties but he somewhat needed a get away from the stuffy house he lived in. He looked around and was immediately met by the scene of people making out and whispering somewhat he found about him.

What are they whispering about?

He didn’t let it bother him too much before he felt a hand touch his back as he turned around to look.

He was greeted with Bokuto smiling at him with his normal wicked owl-like hair and Kuroo with his cat-like smirk.

“HEY, HEY, HEY! IWAIZUMI YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU’D BE HERE!” Bokuto said, excitement literally pouring out of him.

“You didn’t tell me either, Iwaizumiiii, I didn’t think you’d come.” He purred lightly, as if he was a real cat. Iwaizumi laughed at their friendly antiques before allowing them to persuade him into enjoying himself. He wanted to get away so badly.

Get away from all this sadness that clung to him like a sad little pathetic ghost.

Little did he know, the universe had more planned for him than he’d expected.

He proceeded to drown himself in alcohol. He felt it run in his veins, he felt so intoxicated but he didn’t care. He went through a world of emotions before he staggered away from the table. He shook his head lightly, he felt sick with himself. He needed to be alone.

He staggered out onto the balcony. 

Big **mistake.**

He looked up, his eyes meeting Oikawa’s light brown ones. He felt tears pouring easily out of his eyes. He walked towards Oikawa as he heard Oikawa’s breathe hitch. His eyes growing larger at the moment, as if he was trying to convince himself this was really happening.

“Iwa-cha-“

“Don’t speak, trashykawa.”

Iwaizumi approached him, tears pouring out of his eyes as Iwaizumi pressed soft lips to Oikawa’s. He felt Oikawa’s chest heave backwards and forwards. His hand cupping Oikawa’s cheek lightly. He knew he would regret this but he couldn’t help it. He heard Oikawa moan lightly underneath him as tears starting flowing freely out of Oikawa’s eyes as well. Iwaizumi was so close to him he could see the tear specks on Oikawa’s eyelashes.

He felt a hand tug roughly at his arm. He turned around, anger boiling up. Why would somebody ruin this memory now, of all times.

He turned to see a dishevelled Aiko. She looked at him with the deepest loathing and spat out

“What the **FUCK** are you doing, Hajime!’’

He felt his vein throb with anger as Oikawa sank to the floor behind him. 

“Don’t you see? I’m breaking up with you, bitch!”

She looked as if she was possessed before she yelled in distress. She finally didn’t get her way. After all these years of always getting what she wanted, she finally didn't get it.

He then felt a direct punch to his gut. He felt all air escape his lungs as he breathe. He looked up and saw a man with a shaved head staring down at him. The said man punched him several times until he was on the verge of losing consciousness. He heard Oikawa’s light whimpers signifying the man was beating Oikawa up as well.

He tried to scream out for help as he heard Aiko’s laugh ringing in his ears. He tried so hard to keep consciousness but he couldn’t.

His eyes shut tightly as he was welcomed with darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? Please give constructive criticism and feedback! Please kudos/bookmakr/comment. See you in my next update and hope you're not too disappointed! Love y'all <3


	6. We Need To Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Hope you enjoy! I apologize for any heart's broken throughout the story.

He woke up on a soft cushiony surface, sorting out the pains in his aching back. He sighed contentedly on the bed before burying his face further into the pillow. He felt signs of movement beside him yet he cared not to check. His hand lightly brushed the person next to him and he could hear a sharp intake of breath, signalling that the person beside him was awake.

Oikawa, who wasn’t drunk at all the night before, remembered the events somewhat clearly. Yet he couldn’t quite remember who the person that kissed him was, but soon after that he could hear a woman scream as he watched the man getting beaten up. He had a feeling that it was for someone he cared for, but he just couldn’t quite place who the person was.

He felt the bed shift lightly. The person next to him was still asleep. He then finally decided to open his eyes. He looked around and saw that he was in one of Bokuto’s guest room. He winced lightly at the pain in his eye and gut. He grimaced at the thought of looking at the mirror. He finally turned to get a better look at the person next to him. He felt a shiver run down his spine. It was Iwaizumi. He was sleeping softly, a peaceful look spread on his finely crafted face. Oikawa stared at the ugly bruise that appeared just below Iwaizumi’s right eye. He felt a twinge of sympathy and a sense of possessiveness run over him. He didn’t like the thought that somebody had hurt Iwaizumi. He touched Iwaizumi’s arm lightly, running his fingers over the biceps that decorated Iwaizumi’s arms. He felt it twitch lightly and that scared him out of his wits. 

He leapt up from the bed, peering down cautiously at Iwaizumi before stepping out of the room. Bokuto was pretty rich and had inherited a great fortune as well as a mansion. He looked around the lit hallway. He jumped lightly at the contact of the cold floor before walking cautiously, hoping to find his way to a bathroom. He was way off as he found himself meeting face to face with the kitchen.

He saw what seemed like Bokuto and Akaashi were entangled in each other’s limbs, fast asleep, and a very hungover Kuroo making what seemed like an omelette for a grumpy Kenma. He entered the kitchen and took a seat at the island. Kenma merely looked up at him, but his glaze lingering a second too long on the bruise on Oikawa’s face.  
Oikawa buried his face in his arms, shivering as the mansion seemed to be colder than usual. When he finally looked up, Kuroo jumped lightly before setting the omelette down in front of Kenma.

“Fuck, bro your eye looks worst then yesterday. Damn, that dude must’ve used some real force.” Kuroo said, with gritted teeth whilst sighing and taking a seat in front of Oikawa.

“That bad? Guess I’ll have to buy some good ass foundation before meeting anyone. Don’t think I’m in the mood to tell stories.” Oikawa said, grumpily. Kenma gave a fond little smile before eating his food silently, gratefully.

“What happened though? It was about 2.00 in the morning when I went to check every room in the house to shoo people out. Seemed like you guys were pretty knocked up so I  
brought you guys to Bokuto’s guest room.”

“Could’ve put me in a different room. Iwaizumi and I aren’t exactly on the best terms right now..” He said, hurt filling him up once more.

“Seriously? Shit,sorry. You guys never fight though. Tell me what’s wrong then” Kuroo said, appreciatively.

It was as if he was a storybook, spilling out every detail to Kuroo and Kenma. Oikawa covered his eyes with the palm of his hand.

You **will** not cry.

Kenma looked apologetic. 

“Dude, Aiko’s a bitch”

“What?”

“Iwaizumi told me how she treated him. She fucked other guys while they were dating too.”

“What.The.Shit.”

“Exactly, so look, maybe you should talk to Iwaizumi.”

“Kuroo…”

“I’m serious, before it gets worse. Sort this out with him. If you don’t do it, I’m locking you in a room for a whole day.”

“Kuroo is right you know. If we didn’t sort out our problems together, we wouldn’t be dating.” Kenma said, carrying his now empty plate to the sink. They heard a light muttering of ‘hey,hey,,hey’s and ‘agghhkassshhhiiii’ from where Bokuto and Akaashi were.

Oikawa put a finger over his lips, shushing them before he retreated to the bathroom after some directions from Kuroo. 

***

Iwaizumi was eating breakfast, sporting a massive hangover as he grumpily shoved eggs in the his mouth. He winced slightly at even the slightest noise. Moments like this, it was best to leave Iwaizumi alone. He mentally face-palmed when he finally remembered a string of incidents that happened yesterday. 

He remembered the taste of Oikawa’s sweet lips. He tasted like apple juice, peach and hint of milk bread. Iwaizumi felt warmth spread all over his insides. Oikawa’s scent was not easy to forget. It was of lemongrass and citrus. Something he couldn’t get over.

His mind shook as he felt Kuroo eye him slightly. He couldn’t remember what happened after that but according to Kuroo, Oikawa and him were both badly bruised. He winced slightly as he heard the clatter of dishes. Bokuto was unusually quiet today as well. He then proceeded to the bathroom.

Due to his unusually horrible, no good, hangover, he couldn’t hear the sound of the shower running. He entered the bathroom and noticed the steam, but he thought it was from someone bathing just before him. His shoulders shook lightly as he took of the tight t-shirt on him that was clinging to him with sweat. He looked in his reflection and flinched at the bruise on his cheekbone. 

He suddenly heard the shower door open and turned quickly to look. He heard a girlish scream come from such a beautiful (manly) soul.

He felt threatened to laugh before he saw the recipient. It was Oikawa fricking Tooru. He saw the muscles that decorated his body beautifully. He could see the rock hard abs on Tooru’s smooth stomach. He shivered before muttering a string of curses as he had stubbed his toe.

He immediately left the bathroom. He felt like a giddy schoolgirl who saw his crush for the first time. He gave a little chuckle before heading off towards another bathroom.

After a good shower, he wrapped a towel around his body, proceeding to a room where Kuroo kept spare clothes. He then saw Oikawa, sitting on the bed in the room. He could hear Oikawa’s sharp intake of breath. He was staring intently at him before muttering 

“We need to talk, Iwa-Chan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? :D Please give constructive criticism and feedback! Please give kudos/comment/bookmark! See y'all in the next update!  
> Lots of love, Toxic

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry :( Please give kudos/comments/bookmarks <3! Working on the second chapter as we speak! Hope you guys like this! See you in the next chapter!


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